Let go of your own agendas; your own need for kudos. You’re the adult and they’re the kid. Find your thank you’s and congratulations for being a great mentor elsewhere.” – mindful.org
It’s Mother’s Day here in Australia, and like lots of the celebrations of our society that have a ton of expectation associated with them (Birthday’s and Christmas spring to mind) I’m not a fan.
I’m a mother, and a daughter, and while my relationship with my mum has always been complicated, I love the woman who gave me life, as I know my children love me. But to be told by society, that today, in order to ‘prove’ that I love my mum, or that my children love me, there must be gifts, lunches, expectations and associated disappointments if expectations are not met. That one must provide thanks and congratulations and ‘kudos’ to mothers on this day specifically for their amazingness in raising you. This I don’t agree with.
As a mother, I do not look to my children to shower me with attention on some society-specified day, in order to provide reassurance that I have done a good job. I do not want gifts and thankyous in order to validate my mothering. My thankyou is in the way in which my children express their individuality, it is in their sense of self, and confidence in their own unique power, and it is found every single day.
Rather than focusing on what my children do for me on Mother’s Day, my focus is internal. My focus is on how I can work on myself to bring more mindfulness to my parenting. How I can demonstrate more authenticity, more intentionality, more gratitude in how I move through my days, so that I can truly see my children, and in doing that help them to see themselves, as they truly are. My focus today, and every day is on supporting them to find their path and their unique power, because the love that flows from living authentically is not driven by duty and guilt, it has no nominated days for specific displays of affection, it simply exists in each moment equally.
Forget the ‘I love my mum’ Facebook posts, forget the fancy lunches or gifts. Thank your mum by finding your unique power, by living your life authentically, mindfully, intentionally and with gratitude, demonstrate it every day and let that be enough, because you are enough.